Kausar Syed
Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Common Sense

Often when we stress about something the first thing lost is common sense or basic behaviours… what in normal circumstances we would consider to be automatic responses, can suddenly be beyond us… we lose the power of speech and start gabbling, the power of our limbs – hands and feet shake, breathing, normally an action to which we give no thought whatsoever, becomes laboured, short of breath.

In extreme circumstances we may even faint, throw up, fall over or all three … but usually nothing so drastic occurs … we suffer some varying degrees of discomfort, and wish we could have dealt with that situation/task much better.

So here are 5 tips that enable us all to realise that we are not at the mercy of circumstances that overtake us but that we can very easily and quickly learn to reassess and regroup our feelings and our behaviour to respond much more effectively in any situation.

Each of the tips in this report/blog are key stand alone techniques which will enhance behaviour helping us to achieve success easily and quickly in all areas of our lives especially in achieving Successful Learning Outcomes. Also isn’t it wonderful to realise that becoming successful is an ongoing process with room for improvement ad infinitum.

1. Intention

When faced with a learning task and indeed any other task or meeting or behaviour it can be extremely useful to consciously express an intention for that task… lets take an example … lets imagine we are learning a foreign language and for the next class we have to learn a list of vocabulary 10 -20 words… we have a week perhaps to learn them and we know that the more often we actually get down to learning the words ( I will speak more about effective methods of learning in another blog) little and often would be more effective than trying to cram them at the end of the week or the night before!

Still we just can not get motivated enough to get down to learning those words, we are procrastinating and as we procrastinate we are also finding ourselves becoming overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task as the deadline approaches so the task seems to grow!

A very simple method of circumventing all this grief is to set an intention for the task – we have these words to learn …

There can be any number of outcomes to a task or behaviour and setting an intention for the task can very much guide us not only in actually completing the task but also in determining how and to what standard the task needs to be completed, according to whom?

Well of course the most effective intention will be when it set by and for the benefit of the person carrying out the task, the intention meets the needs or desired outcomes of the person carrying out the task.

If we must get 20/20 in the test in order to impress the teacher or get a promotion then the seriousness and dedication with which we approach the task might be much greater perhaps than if it was to be able to speak to locals while on holiday or to family and friends who already speak English well and this is to be another string to your bow.

I wonder which of the scenarios above will be the more affective for learning? The one in which we are pressurisation ourselves to attain perfection or where we allow ourselves to relax and go with the flow?

Action

Identify our intention behind learning these words:

• Is it to get 20/20 in the test in class to impress our teacher?

• Is it to be able to speak the language fluently so that we can get that promotion to work in a country where that language is spoken?

• Is it to get on better with family/friends/spouse who speak that language?

2. Posture

Now you may be thinking what has posture got to do with learning? The answer is that posture is the single most easily and quickly accomplished change which can have a massive impact on a person physically, mentally and emotionally – in changing negative feelings and behaviours into positive feelings and behaviours in a matter of seconds!

Try it for yourself right now and see what impact it has for you?

• If you are sitting down stand up or lie down.

• If you are slouching back on your sofa try sitting up straighter.

• If you are sitting up relax back in your chair.

There has been a great deal of research which has found that how we feel can be very much related to our posture, for example it is very difficult to feel depressed while looking up towards the ceiling or the sky – hence the admonishment to someone looking:

“down in the mouth”

To:

“look up”

This is not to say that everyone must adopt the same posture to find the most effective one for them, not at all!

Some people find it better to sit back and relax in order to learn effectively others need to be sitting up straight.

Initially it could be interesting to try out various postures to see which is more effective, you may be surprised to find that actually you learn better when sitting in a relaxed posture or that you need to be moving around while memorising your vocabulary.

Changing and trying out different postures and exploring the possibilities and effectiveness of different positions for different tasks, behaviours, and indeed for different intentions could be much more rewarding then to become fixated on any particular posture.

Having said this it is rarely beneficial for anyone to be slumped over a desk, head in your hands, and it may be useful to just straighten your back, look up, perhaps stand up(?) or for some people leaning back or leaning their head on one hand would enable them to think more positively, to be more receptive to information….

Action

At this initial stage I would suggest:

• Experimenting with different postures to have a store house of ones that work and

• Even more beneficially remembering to change your posture whenever you start to notice any negative feelings:

o Tired

o Anxious

o Afraid  

3. Breathing

After posture, breathing is the next most powerful way of influencing our feelings.

Surprisingly perhaps even though breathing is essential to life, we breath very shallowly as a rule, allowing air into only the top part of our lungs.

This debilitates the effectiveness of our bodies to optimise the utilisation of the oxygen we take into our lungs to efficiently provide the energy required to perform vital functions and eliminate waste products from the body.

Even more astonishingly, when stressed we stop breathing – hold our breath – for quite long periods this causes further physical stress to our bodies as the brain notices a lack of oxygen and immediately sends out distress signals which further exacerbate our body physically, mentally and emotionally this can lead to us forgetting our own name let alone any information we are already nervous about having memorised!

So to enhance learning it is essential make a practise of breathing deeply into our stomach leaving plenty of room for our lungs to expand and take in as much oxygen as possible to optimise the essential processes of our body. If we make a conscious decision to take five – ten deep, slow breaths every so often, whenever we remember in fact, this will have an extremely beneficial affect on all aspects of our health and well being – physical, mental and emotional.

Action

Whenever we start to notice stress levels beginning to rise after we have changed our posture we then: • Pay attention to our breathing – at first just noticing it, how fast it is… • Then slowing it down and breathing into our stomachs • Breathing more and more slowly and deeply with each breath, noticing how we begin to calm down and relax and can then • Allow the vocabulary to be remembered effortlessly.

4. Choosing and Building State

What is state?

In the context of learning Positive/Supportive States might be:

– Confident

– Strength/power

– Excited

– Calm and relaxed

– Peaceful and content

Negative/Obstructive Statesmight be:

– Angry

– Anxious

– Fearful

– Overwhelmed

We all know that state affects how we function – just by how when we “get out of the wrong side of the bed” we look and feel miserable, muddling through a day where mistakes and accidents abound, we lack any self belief, where the simplest venture is bound to fail… we are not aware of or devalue any successes.

Yet when we are having a good/great day we feel wonderful, everything we touch turns to gold, we believe in our success, failure is not in our vocabularly, we feel we could fly, where even if something flops dismally we find the learning from it and move on.

Changing our posture and breathing can vastly improve our state but another action which can vastly improve our levels of competence can be to choose a state which we think would be most helpful to a particular situation.

We can do this by remembering a time when we were particularly successful at a task, we remember all the feelings, sights and sounds, smells and tastes associated with that memory – what was our posture, how we were breathing and what kind of state was it?

– Excited or calm

– Powerful or content

– Confident or Peaceful

Giving the state a name, remembering the feelings, sights, sounds etc. enables us to recreate that state now and improve our performance immediately.

If for whatever reason we are not able to access any successful memories or if we desire a change that goes beyond anything we may have firsthand experience with then it can be very effective to think of someone who accomplishes the task really well and looks and behaves with the characteristics we admire and wish to emulate… to imagine what we believe their intention might have been, to imagine their posture, how they breath, what sort of state we believe they are in.

5. Detachment

Now for the last but by no means least effective tip for achieving success, which will circumvent the stresses involved in attempting to attain perfection, is to detach from the outcome… by almost forgetting about it – putting it to the back of our minds and allowing ourselves to just focus on the task at hand.

This is something which occurs qhite unconsciously when we are up against a deadline and we know that now we just have to get on with it as we don’t want to let down other people, we don’t want to lose our job….. or what ever drives us.

A way of doing this consciously can be to consider:

– What is the worst thing that can happen if we don’t get what we want?

– What is the worst thing that won’t happen if we don’t get what we want?

What does failure really mean?

– Now we can never have what we want?

– If we don’t get this now, would it be the end of the world?

– The end of life as we know it? •

Or does failure to achieve something right now mean that:

– The next time we will have more information about what not to do, so we are now closer to success?

– Perhaps it did not work out thbecause this was not the time for us?

– That perhaps the reason why we did not really work harder enough, in time to get something is that we didn’t really want it … then?

– So failure could mean that we can re-evaluate what it is we really want?

Asking ourselves and answering these sorts of questions, perhaps writing down the answers, can give us some distance, some perspective …. some detachment from the negative, oppressive, unhelpful feelings we might have attached to achieving success.

How Coaching Can Assist Already Successful People Become Even More Successful

You are already successful or on your way to being successful.

You know what to do and you have been doing it ….

But lately as you become more and more successful…

As you start to become comfortable where you are now…?

As you have more to lose…?

• Are you finding it harder to do those things which you know would be useful, effective….
• Are you putting them off, till the last possible moment…
• Not giving yourself the time and opportunity to do justice to what you know needs to be done even though you know how to do it?

This is where Hypnosis and NLP Techniques can assist you to overcome:

• Lack of motivation, due to getting comfortable where you are now even though you know that even to remain still you need to be developing, expanding, your product/service and you own knowledge and skills…
• Procrastination, linked to all the points here as you put off taking action as that would mean making decisions and at that:
  • At best it is just too much effort or
  • At worse there is a fear of failure and lack of confidence, failing self esteem which highlights the fear fo failure…
  • Fear of Failure before there was nothing, no business…. nothing to lose now business is rolling along making a mistake could jeopardise that!
  • Lack of self esteem, as you learn more about your product/service and the other people operating in your sector you begin to think that I am not good enough the others are much better skilled, qualified, experienced, richer, better looking… need I go on, fill in your own limiting beliefs….
  • Lack of confidence linked to the above in the past even though you lacked experience, money, skills your confidence and belief in yourself carried you through now all you see are the pitfalls….

How Am I Qualified to Assist You?

Well this Coaching/Therapy Practice is a business where I deal with people, their issues and aspirations and I face all the same challenges of building The Business, attracting clients, making a living for myself and my children as any other business owner.

This is my third business venture the first was as Reflexology and Aromatherapy Massage Therapist, then in partnership in a Human Resources Agency.

The reason I am qualified to assist you is that I encounter all the same pitfalls as everyone else and being qualified  in Hypnosis and NLP Techniques, I do use them for myself and on myself – as I will teach you to do too.

However from time to time I still need and utilise assistance from my colleagues when it comes to the “biggies” where I consciously refuse to cooperate with myself, doing all the things mentioned above, losing confidence, procrastinating (this is a big one for me), lacking motivation and focus…

I am as human and as much a work in progress as anyone else – the day anyone stops being able to get better never comes!

The techniques I will use with you and indeed teach you to use yourself when you are ready, are simple and yet extremely powerful.

You will not “have to do” anything or “have to stop” doing anything…

What you will have are more choices which you will have the motivation, focus and confidence to apply appropriately to each situation, rather than automatically carry on doing or not doing what you know is not as effective as you would like.

The first step is for you to want to see a difference in your life then …

Contact me for a consultation over the phone or email so that both of us can find out more about each other and ensure that the work we do together will be suitable for you.

Phone: 07846 365 589

Email: kfs@choosingtochange.com

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Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Weight Control is rarely, if ever, merely about :

• exercising more and eating less
• finding the perfect diet
• will power or self- control
• and nothing to do with being greedy – well perhaps sometimes!

All of us who find weight to be an issue know how to lose weight, we probably know several ways of losing weight.  All of which have all worked for us in the past as we have lost pounds and kilos only to yo-yo back again.

Weight and eating, not exercising, generaly taking less care of  ourselves then we do of the most minor item of convenience in our lives – the electric kettle or blender forget about the car or boiler.

This is an issue which is close to my heart … my waist line, my hips, my love handles… errr you get the picture!

So I will be returning to this frequently as and when the fancy to share more with you takes me…. see you then:-).

18 August 2010
Fact is (as I have mentioned above and will probably mention again – frequently!) we all know how to lose weight, what to do, what not to do, what works best for us, but underlying emotional issues and the stresses of life can demand an instant fix, which is extremely gratifying in the short term and is fiercely regretted immediately after … binging on the cream cake, bar of chocolate, deep fried, fatty chips or burgers or meat pie or whatever it is that is your weakness.

It is the binging that is our downfall as the occasional enjoyment of any food would be quite acceptable even within the strictest diet regime.  It is when we think that eating just one square of chocolate is soooo “bad” and we feel soooo guilty that we end up devouring a whole block and not even enjoying it that we create issues for ourselves!

The best thing about the work I do is that we have more choice, without having to feel deprived, without having to engage massive will power:

I will not eat….?

I will not….

I will not…

I will nooo…. oh what the heck just one ….. Then one more!

With the techniques I use we just find ourselves wanting:

• To eat less of the unhealthy options – still indulging sometimes but wondering what all the fuss was about, as you don’t really need this any more, but still enjoy it from time to time!
• Eating more of healthy foods you already like and slowly but surely learning to like even the ones you thought you would never like!
• Finding ways of fitting in more activity into your daily routine whether it is something as simple as walking and taking the stairs more often or starting to doing some things that you may not have done much of  before such as a few squats, or sit ups as you just never seemed to get round to it!
• I started doing some squats when I found myself struggling to get out of my car, in the beginning I could barely manage about 5 now I can easily do 20 – really as I just got up and checked!

Instead of just thinking about doing the above, knowing what to do, but well… not just now!

I know as I too have struggled with weight issues and it is only recently that I feel I have sorted out my emotional issues enough to ….. well I think it has been a combination of letting go of being fixated on my weight and not building it up into a major issue which I was not ready to address “properly” whatever that is!

So I have been on the same treadmill of most other dieters who are able to keep their weight in check most of the time then let it go some of the time so that each time we gain weight it is a pound or two more than the most it has been.

Consequently whereas I started off wanting to lose a few pounds from about 9 stone 4lbs to get back to about 8stone 7lbs, over the last 10 years it has yo- yo’d down then up to 10 stone then 11 stone till I ended up a few months ago at 12 stones…. what did I do as a qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and NLP Pratitioner?

I will tell you next time:-)

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London

Kausar Syed

Qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner
DipCHyp, MNLP, MNCH(Lic.)
West London